"I am loving awareness." - Ram Dass
"When talking about awareness, most of us identify with our awareness through the ego, through the mind and senses. But the true self is in the middle of our chest, in our spiritual heart.
So, to get from ego to the true self I said: “I am loving awareness.” Loving awareness is the soul. I am loving awareness. I am aware of everything, I’m aware of my body and my senses and my mind, I’m aware of all of it, but I notice that I’m loving all of it. I’m loving all of the world. The self that I identify with emanates from the ocean of love. The self that is the ego is the ocean of fear.
When I am loving awareness I’m aware of everything outside, but pulling into the heart, the spiritual heart brings me to loving awareness. I’m aware of my thoughts, but loving awareness is simply witnessing them. And loving awareness is in the moment. I have thoughts about the past and future, and those are not helpful, so I dive deep into the present and the presence and in this present moment we will find loving awareness."
- ramdass.org
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Hi! This week, the bookclub squad read chapter 3 of The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. "Who are you?" invites us to dive deeper from the foundations we laid in chapter 2 "Your Inner Roommate".
Last week's chapter investigated the presence of and our relationship to the constant chatter of our minds - that "other person" we're living with - our thinking mind. The current chapter, encourages us to expand our awareness further, to recognize the other things that we are not. If I am not the opinions, thoughts and stories I've created about "myself" (aka the inner roommate)... who am I?
Below are some notes from the chapter, as well as a journal prompt for further exploration.
Chapter 3: Who Are You?
Ramana Maharshi, used to say, that to attain inner freedom, one must continuously ask themselves the sincere question… “Who am I?” Let’s play a game… when someone asks, “Who are you?” I’ll typically answer “Katherine Ellis” Am I a collection of letters? No... okay. It’s just a label -- just a name people call me. So I may expand further, “I’m Amber’s friend.” But wait, that’s just another label... now in context to a relationship. “Okay.. I'm Katherine Ellis and I was born in 1997 in Vienna, Virginia. I lived with my family until I went to college at James Madison University, then moved to California and live in San Diego where I teach yoga and create art.” Great story, but I didn't ask what’s happened to you.. I asked "who are you"… you just described a bunch of experiences, but who’s had these experiences? “Okay... I am the body occupying this space. I’m 5’5” 125 lbs and here I am.” But when you were in 1st grade you weren't 5’5’ and 125lbs.. Which one are you? As I dig deeper, I see that the same me who looked in the mirror and saw and 7 year old body, is the same me who looks in the mirror today and sees a 24 year old body and will be the same when I, in the future, look in the mirror and see a 50 year old body. And when I go to sleep each night, who dreams? It is that same me.
There is a continuity of conscious awareness of being who is present throughout all experiences. Ramana Maharshi asked the simple questions… “Who sees when you see?” “Who hears when you hear?” “Who watches when you dream?” “Who is it that is having all of these experiences?” The only honest answer i can respond with is “Me. It’s me. Im here having all of these experiences”
It’s easy to see that I am not to objects I look at. I am the subject and those are the objects. So it’s easy to deduce that if I am the one looking at the objects, I am not the objects. I am not the outside world… I am the one who is inside, looking out at that world. But the same “me” experiences both the outside things and the inside things of emotions and feelings and thoughts. My inside and outside world compete for my attention. I am having both inner and outer experiences… but who am I? And even when it is quite quiet inside… who is it that experiences the stillness? Outside experiences and inside experiences come and go… but the one who watches it all remains constant.
Descartes said, “I think, therefore I am” But who thinks these thoughts? Who is using the mind to form thoughts and manipulate them into judgements? I am very aware of my presence, my awareness, even when thoughts are not present. Who is the one who is aware of the thoughts? Who is the one who struggles with them? Who likes them… or doesnt like them? I am the subject, and the thoughts are but another object. So, we get deeper… but who am I? If im not the outer world, or the body, or the inner world of thoughts and feelings? “Who am i? Who is having all of these physical, emotional, and mental experiences?” If I continue to dig deeper, I let go of all my experiences one by one until I reach a point where all that is left is a sense of aware, conscious, existence.. I dont have to think about it, i just know. I exist regardless, thoughts or no thoughts.
If I look out into the room that I'm in, with no thoughts, my consciousness completely understands and comprehends it all, with no need for labels. My mental faculties could never describe or understand every tiny detail of the scene… but my consciousness just knows. If the objects of my awareness disappeared, I would still be here. But if my awareness ceased to exist - there would be no me.
“Who are you?” “I am the one who sees. From back in here somewhere, I look out and I am aware of the events, thoughts, and emotions that pass before me.” That is where I live. The seat of consciousness. I, a pure, true spiritual being lives there. Without any effort or intent, i just look out at all that I see. The thoughts are close in, the emotions a little further, then the body, and then all the objects outside. I've always been there at every stage of my life… it’s been the constant throughout every experience. I am at the center of consciousness. This seat is my true home. That center is the true Self. from that seat I am aware of all of the thoughts, emotions, and a world coming in through my senses. But I am aware that I am aware. This is the seat of the Buddha self, the Hindu atman, and the Judeo-Christian soul. The great mystery begins once you take that seat deep within.
Journal Prompt:
Play this same game with yourself. This is a common self-inquiry practice. Ask yourself, "Who am I?" over and over again, and you will get deeper and deeper; closer and closer to your true Self. Have a back and forth conversation with yourself in your journal. The point of this exercise is not to come to any kind of intellectual discovery... it is to disarm your intellect, so you can come to know, at a level beyond thought, the very core of your being. As all of your labels, stories, and masks fall away, you will come to rest in the seat of the soul. That place that Ram Dass refers to when he says, "I am loving awareness."
next week: chapter 4, the lucid self
dream extreme!
♡ kat
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