when?
now.
what is it?
it has always been.
it is the truth
the truth is that which cannot be anything other than itself.
the truth is now.
the truth is here.
nothing changes.
it is nothing apart from the here and now.
truth is not something separate from me
yet it is nothing.
the truth is what is happening.
the truth is whatever arises.
and where does it arise from?
that is also truth.
it arises from itself.
out of the nothingness that is itself.
only a self can conceive or perceive truth.
only I can be truth.
without an I… there is no truth.
truth is a concept.
who am I?
I am truth.
I am what is.
I am the nothing from which I arise.
I am the sum and all its parts.
I am the emptiness which holds the somethingness.
I am this experience.
I am not this experience.
I am neither of those things.
I am both of those things.
I am the dreamer and the dream.
I am the dreamer who dreams the dream.
The dream is me. I create it.
The dream is contained within the dreamer.
I am the one who is aware of the dreamer and dream.
I create the concept that there is a dreamer and a dream.
I create the concept that there is one who is aware of the dreamer and dream.
I am the dreamer and dream
I am awareness/consciousness… the container for the dream.
who is that consciousness who is aware of the dream?
I am that.
and… i am not that.
still a concept.
what is prior to consciousness?
emptiness.
i am the emptiness.
i am the subtle one that holds consciousness.
and what is prior to emptiness?
the absolute.
all of existence is an illusory appearance on the absolute.
i am that illusory substance.
“i am that which it all appears on.
there is no that which it all appears on.
there is neither that nor not that which it all appears upon.”
the knower of emptiness perceives its perception of the absolute.
“in the absolute i do not know that i am”
the absolute is prior to the awareness concept.
the absolute is a name for the unknowable not nothing.
i am the collapse of nothing and everything.
i am the expanse of nothing and everything.
i am the one who knows.
i know the dream.
i know the consciousness.
i know the emptiness.
i know my perception of the absolute.
the one who does not know… is not me.
that one is not a one… it just is.
all i know is that i know nothing.
nothing cannot be known.
the absolute cannot be known.
it can only be unknown.
the absolute is a concept.
it is neither real
nor is it not real.
it is the collapse.
paradox.
another concept.
an “i” can only know.
what is prior to “i am”?
nothing.
outside of experience.
an “i” can only experience.
… confusing, huh? yeah the mind hates it.
this truth can not be confused.
"that" cannot be confused.
only the mind can be confused.
the absolute is no place for the mind.
of what use is this?
this ‘knowing’ for the self
peace. freedom.
you can not know. ever.
but you’re creating it.
it seems.
so don’t nag the mind attempting to find out a somehow “deeper” sense of who you are.
because you already and always have been who/what you are.
there’s nothing to search for. nothing to uncover. nothing to be known.
do not search for truth. realize it is already here.
your experience. whether you view it as grand or bleak. is truth.
truth is also the awareness of your experience.
which is just as much true as the absolute is truth.
the absolute does not have an “i” to “am”
only I am
the self wants freedom.
only an “i” can want that.
the self creates a fantasy that realizing itself will have a result.
only an “i” can create that.
freedom. liberation. is surrendering the mind’s urge to know for certain some thing absolutely. (a liberated self… a liberated “i”)
i am that.
only an “i” can “be” “that”.
liberation from the “i” rather than a liberated “i”
a liberated ‘I’ cannot know.
liberation from the “i” … nirvana… extinction…annihilation… no “i”
concepts. words. mind. experience. knowing.
all illusion.
all true.
neither illusion nor not illusion.
neither true nor not true.
the search is complete.
because there is no search.
there is no enlightenment.
once you realize it, you are it.
until the next one.
it's nothing to hold.
...
but i'll continue to be devoted.
continue to seek.
open to the possibility of more truth.
open to the possibility that i'm still very ignorant.
which seems to be the case.
the mind holds the concept that "not knowing" is equivalent ignorance
but what " i know" is just as much a possibility as what i do not know.
this is just what what works for me right now.
could be fantasy. something i'm making up
i'll throw it away when it's no longer useful.
i am not knowing.
...
it's all complete garbage, right?
the absolute is not practical. not applicable. not useful for survival.
just a concept.
if you want truth. reaaaally want it. and don't look for it outside of your experience.
if you manage to "fall beneath" it and merge with the absolute while you're at it, cool. apparently, otherwise, we just have experience. but for me, kat, this absolute is just a concept. something this knower cannot know.
words words words.
i'm being serious, but don't take it seriously.
peace out! much love!
-kat :)
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