a wise man once asked me,
what do you want more than anything?
“to be awake,” I said, “fully awake.”
he told me of the proverb of a guru and his student
who waded into the sea.
“do you want to succeed?” asked the guru.
“more than anything” the student answered.
the guru was not convinced.
abruptly, he shoved the student’s head underwater
the student fought,
but the guru was strong.
finally, the guru let go.
the student gasped for air.
when the student had caught his breath
the guru simply stated,
“you will only succeed when you want success as badly as you want to breathe”
...
i must be willing to release all attachments
so my path is clear of distraction
every step in alignment with truth
i must continuously remind myself of my purpose
which keeps me steadfast
i want to breathe.
i will not drown.
i will fight with my life
for a chance to taste the sky
i am the guru and the student.
the hand that holds me underwater is my own.
...
personally,
I'm at the moment
facing the demons
that keep returning to bite me harder
each time i try to ignore them.
because how can i ask for growth
if I'm denying the quest right in front of me?
the same lessons will continue to cycle until I learn.
...
it is no question
that what drives us is desire
each decision we make
is a reaction to asking ourselves
do i want this?
or do i want this?
we experience negativity
when we cannot decide what we want
whether that be to take action
or remain still
to choose this
or that
all these small decisions we make all day
either guide us on or off our path
when we are in a state of clarity
we can act with discernment
but when we live in fog
it can be difficult to act out of purity
because we cannot see clearly
recently, I’ve been experiencing waves of this fog
and it’s discouraging and frustrating
because it feels as though i’m fighting against myself
and i am
i have loving intentions
but my actions are not in alignment
my energy is low
my being is dense
my lenses are clouded
thankfully im able to recognize this
but that doesn’t necessarily make it any easier
yes, i must always surrender
but here is the misconception:
surrender does not mean to give up
to give up is to fall victim
the surrender of a warrior is to create space, to give pause
to dissociate from form
to remember our divinity
so we can objectively see and accept what is inherently happening
without getting caught in cycles of illusion and pain
then return and know that all happens for a reason
that if we perceive an obstacle
it is placed there so we can recognize it and overcome it
so we can move forward
now, more clear than ever before
in that space of surrender we come into our power
because in that pause we make a decision:
to remain in the fog
or to step by step
put forth effort
to increase our light
so like the rising sun,
we can melt away the morning mist
little by little
until our brilliance clears the skies
and how do we do this?
by choosing to move towards love
instead of settling for fear
when we choose love
we are only left with one driving force
our why
our deepest desire
our guide toward truth
...
monday august 19 1:01pm
ram ram ૐ
much love, dream extreme ☆
- kat
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