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the fish

~ restlessness, change of focus, lost in the current ~


The Fish loves to be subsumed in life's current. Nothing pleases it more than movement, movement, and more movement. The roaming lifestyle of the Fish may be exhilarating for a while, but usually leads to weariness and slippery relationships. With all the possibilities out there in the vast waters, the fish becomes lost without clear goals and intentions, spend some time with the lunar forces, dear Fish, as the peace and calm of the moon will soothe your soul.


when in balance ~ adaptable, travels well

when out of balance ~ distracted, changes mind often

to bring into balance ~ set a small goal and accomplish it

The Wild Unknown Card Deck

Hi :) Welcome to week 12 of our yoga series based on the symbolism of the animal kingdom. Each creature represents a different aspect of our human journey, helping us to better understand and connect to our inner and outer worlds. Every 5 weeks in our yoga classes, we cycle through each of the 5 elements (earth, water, fire, air, space) and their respective animals in this card deck.


Last week, the mouse of the earth element guided us back into balance when we got too preoccupied in the details and lost sight of our bigger vision. She asked us to recognize how we may obsess over things we can't control, and urged us to respect life's perfect unfolding by allowing things the time and space to grow without our interference. And in that space, redirect our energy to other areas of our lives.


This week, we return to the water element, which relates to our emotions, feelings, creativity, and inspiration. The fish celebrates our "go with the flow" tendencies, but warns us that a nomadic lifestyle may lead us to become lost in life's currents with no clear goal. The fish asks us to pause and be soothed by stillness, so that we can recalibrate and return to movement with greater efficiency when it is time.

the fish card in my yard resting on a yucca plant

When I introduced this theme in my yoga classes this past week, I spoke of "the fish" in us, as the part of us who is kinda just being tossed around and floating along with lack of clear direction. And that's true... but as I meditated longer on this card, I realized that the message is not so much one of focusing and muscling our way back into clear direction, but one of taking a step back from the all of the movement, and resting in stillness.


Rest is so precious. Yet, in our masculine, hyper-productive culture, rest is seen as wasteful and lazy. The fish card calls us into the feminine to find balance and rest.


When I speak of masculine and feminine, I'm not referring to male and female. Masculine energy is "doing" energy, it's the yang, it's the sun, it's the working and efforting and longing. Feminine energy is the "being" energy, it's the "I'm being done", I'm being carried, it's the yin, the moon, the rest, the abiding.


Our culture is severely imbalanced by "doing" energy. We must constantly be doing something in order to be valuable. We live in a way that makes us feel in debt to our own existence. Unless we work work work and "reach our full potentials!" we feel unworthy and lacking and not good enough. And it will always be this way, we'll always feel that lack, because our potentials are limitless - we'll never get there. And as long as we are moving through life viewing it all as a big achievement competition, we will always feel lacking, always feel separate. Because the masculine "doing" energy implies that there is separateness, that there is lack.


Masculine energy is beautiful! It's absolutely necessary! That's being human! It's what makes the human experience fun and dynamic - there are things to do. However, our culture, our earth, and us as individuals, experience a lot of suffering because we are so overpowered by the masculine energy. We've forgotten how to rest. We've forgotten that we are worthy to receive life not because of anything that we've done, but simply because we are here - we are a part of life itself.


So, the fish card asks us to recognize that movement is exhilarating, but we can get so caught up in all the things to do, that we lose direction. We forget why we are moving, we forget where we are going, and notice that we're so obsessed with what we're "doing" that we don't understand why something feels off... or why problems start to arise... and we initially think that we must DO MORE to realign. That is the masculine mentality.


There is a quote that says, "you can't fix your problem from the same level of consciousness as the problem" or something like that. You gotta rise above, you gotta take a step back. Become still.


To realign, instead of moving more and doing more - pause. The description of the fish card says, "spend some time with the lunar forces, dear fish, as the peace and calm of the moon will soothe your soul." This is an invitation into the feminine. The feminine energy carries us, when we are resting in the feminine, instead of us thinking "I'm the one who does things" we think "I am being done." Life is doing it for me. I am a part of life and my actions are all part of the unfolding, whether I am TRYING and EFFORTING and FORCING or not. Resting in the feminine doesn't always look like inaction... but there's a quality of being that arises when we rest in the feminine... where there's not a huge pressure because we understand that we are being held, that we are not alone.


We crave, we absolutely need that feminine energy. It soothes us, it heals us, it is home. We are out all day doing and working and exploring and that's awesome! But we need a place to come home to - she is that place. She is a place of deep comfort, of absolute understanding, of unconditional love.


To honor the message of the fish card, allow yourself true stillness. Remind yourself that you were not placed on this earth to just accomplish tasks and achieve perfection. You were placed on this earth to experience it. You were placed here to love. Remind yourself that it is okay to be still. That in stillness there is no "effort" required to find an answer or to heal yourself.


Do you ever notice that after a relaxing day, an evening with friend, or a few hours steeped in creativity or nature, you come out the other end and are like, "huh... that problem I was obsessing over before now seems so much smaller... I actually know exactly what I'm meant to do now." You weren't spending any energy on your problem during that time... you were finding stillness. You were playing. Or after that time, you are struck with a great idea of seemingly out of nowhere? Without no effort at all? You were just wandering around in the woods?


In that same way, we can find direction not through MORE effort and action and movement... but through softening into our pure human-ness... simple existence. Here I am on this planet, let's explore, let's play, let's rest. Who wrote the story that I must work myself into the ground? What am I trying to prove? I am worthy of being alive because... I am already alive. I'm here! What other proof do I need of my worthiness? Obviously since I am here, I am meant to be here. I will allow myself to be held. I don't "have" a life, I am life.


Next week, the scorpion of the fire element highlights our passionate, focused nature as a good thing, but asks us to investigate if we are becoming narrow in our path. Is there a past painful event that you have unresolved feelings towards? Is that event creating this "narrow path" that you label as "passion and focus" but is really just a cover to push away situations and people that might hurt you?


dream extreme!

♡ kat


excerpts from my journal:


"I've been called deep into the feminine energy. That doesn't mean shunning the masculine - not at all. It means balancing the two - like a yin yang symbol. My whole life, almost every lesson has been one of stillness, not inaction, but stillness. I am learning that I am never alone. I am learning that I don't need to do it all by myself. I am learning that it is okay to receive. That I need to be open to receive in order to live a balanced life. I am learning that I do not need to be perfect in order to be loved - that love is perfect. If I allow myself to open to love, love will perfect me."

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