the eyes of the heart

it is my experience that the thread that passes through all life is love.

I don’t know why…

but I know it to be true

on some deep fundamental level

ive known this for some time

but could never express cognitively “why”

love is what fills the spaces

between form, movement, and mind

love is the yin. the darkness. the ambiguity.

love is the intangible.

love is consciousness itself.

…

yesterday, while writing “the gate” journal entry, I mentioned “the eyes of the heart”

it seems that as long as we see through the mind, there will always be separateness, uncertainty, and constant change. this is helpful, but we are living halfway if we limit our human experience to this one modality of seeing things.

but there seems to be a second way to see. through the heart. through pure feeling. direct experience. no barrier. you are the relationship, the connection, the bridge itself. this is the oneness. the neutrality. acceptance. this mode of seeing is what humanity needs to realize. the eyes of the heart are blind. and that is why we suffer.

later in the day, I gained great insight through this concept of “the eyes of the heart” for representing how we can directly experience our own consciousness.

I began to piece some parts together.

things seemed to fall into place; connections made,

resulting in my own deeper understanding of love, the self, reality, and consciousness.

these are all just my personal conclusions and interpretations but… I see truth here.

…

so, these two modes of seeing…

seeing through the mind – separateness

through the heart – unity.

a world of form

and a world of fluidity.

as I mentioned in yesterday’s post,

I experience seeing through the mind as having a three-part dynamic

self (me), relationship (e.g., connection, perception, bridge), and other (what I am experiencing; the object or energy).

so, in this mode of seeing there is actually a barrier between the observer (me) and the object I am observing.

this barrier is the relationship.

because our relationship to a certain event, person, or object, or to ourselves, always contains lenses.

these lenses are biases, perceptions, and self-impositions.

these lenses keep us from experiencing the truth of the thing we wish to observe.

they cloud our sight, so to speak.

though seeing with the mind, I am aware that there is a relationship. and perhaps what the contents or lenses of that relationship are, but these are all labels. I am not directly experiencing the relationship.

there is always “me” and “something other” than me.

something separate.

this is duality.

two parts.

whereas, when I experience through the heart, I am the relationship itself.

and the relationship comprises both the observer (me) and the observed (other).

through these eyes, the two are seen as one. non-duality.

…

spiritual teachings often preach this message of oneness.

how we are everyone and everything, etc.

but they seem to often fail to teach, or at least undersell, that there is also separateness.

so perhaps this leads many spiritual students to believe that separateness does not exist…

and disregard duality as a non-illusory reality

as I’ve come to realize through my studies, contemplations, and experiences -

everything is a paradox.

we are all one

but also, all individuals.

there can coexist, complete oneness

and complete separateness

simultaneously.

I experience everything as being 2 in 1.

both duality and non-duality exist.

they are two sides of the same coin.

both are equally true

and equally real.

this view, i believe, is similar to the teachings of Achintya Bheda Abheda (which i have not read in much depth haha)

we are the sun and all of its individual rays.

I have long held the beliefs of advaita vedanta, or non-duality.

that although we live in a reality of perceptually separate forms and energy,

it is actually all one thing.

it’s all the same energy.

the energy just arranges itself in different ways to appear as separate things

this is only ½ of reality. or rather, one side of the coin.

even though I have held this truth

I cannot deny that in the everyday human experience

reality is indeed very dual

and we need this duality to function in human form

like, to not stick our hand in a fire

or to remember to feed our bodies

to recognize “right” and “wrong”

the human experience is one that operates according to the laws of karma

for each action, there is a consequence (con-sequence) (with sequence)

and these seem to follow certain patterns and laws... usually

such as, when you touch fire, you get burnt

if you don’t feed yourself, you’ll starve

if you drop an apple, it falls to the ground

if you lift weights, you’ll grow muscles.

this discernment is a necessary component of our experience.

without the mind, we’d have a very difficult time surviving very long as a human.

and though the mind is an incredibly helpful tool, many use it as the only mode of seeing. and many people get so ingrained with things always being one particular way – through their own lenses and relationships, which causes them to suffer. because their relationships with other things are not always pure. there’s a lot of gunk in their perceptions.

…

so… how do we shift from seeing with just the mind, to expand our awareness to also see with the heart? and what does that mean… to “see” with the heart.

how do we gain access to the other side of the coin?

in yogic philosophy, there exists both prakriti and purusa.

prakriti is the mind or energy (duality, yang, discernment)

and purusa is consciousness (non-duality, yin, space, love)

we use meditation, yoga, and other spiritual practices as training to gain a clearer mind.

and this clear mind is the product of purifying the relationships between ourselves and objects in the reality of dualism.

this clarity leads to a happier life because we suffer less – shifting from force and victimhood into power and love.

the clearer the mind, the more purusa we can experience.

because the lenses are clear

we experience more power and love as we shift upwards.

as we do the practices, and expand our awareness,

the coin begins to turn.

we gain glimpses of the other side.

that is why we do the practices. to begin to see both sides of the coin equally.

the Buddha realized enlightenment through vipassana meditation

this is an approach of feeling deep within the body.

it’s commonly taught that we have 5 senses.

see, feel, taste, smell, hear.

let’s expand our definitions of those 5 senses so that each 1 sense has two sides.

see = see with the body/sense organ directly

or to see with the mind, with labels, and distinction

feel = feel direct physical sensations

or feel reactions to pain/pleasure (emotional or physical)

hear = hear direct audio from body/environment

hear thoughts

[smell and taste aren’t important here]

so, we have a body/purusa/direct/non-dual sense

and a mind/prakriti/indirect/dual sense

as I’ve practiced vipassana mediation

I am aware of all sensations

and I can label each one as mind or body

as sight, audio, or feeling

and as each sensation arises,

I hold it and attempt to locate its source in the body

because each bodily sensation is a product of the mind

and each thought/perception is a reaction to a sensation

I noticed that when I try to “see” with the mind (relationship/perception) barrier

there is a tension around the eyes and brain

when I try to “hear” with the mind (hearing thoughts)

tension around the ears and brain

and when trying to “feel” with the mind (emotions, bodily sensations)

there is a tension in the brain and body part

from my observation, I experience tension or some kind of resistance when I try to sense things through the mind.

with the mind being the source of experience

but then… I shifted the source of my awareness to come from the heart

and I was still able to experience the sense fully,

but this time no tension

and no internal dialogue or labeling as well.

when I see/hear/feel either internally, or through the sense organ

from love

there is no judgement.

no right or wrong

there only is.

it all began to make sense to me…

why I intuitively knew that all is love.

I had just never been able to intellectualize it before.

so, who am i?

I am everything

yet I am nothing

simultaneously

both are true

I am a coin

with two sides

one side is love

the other is thought

one side is the self

the other is the identity

or perhaps one side of the coin is “me” and the other is “other”

but through love, I see the entire coin… one object

each side is just a component

idk my coin metaphor could fall apart or be interpreted any way

but it’s just a metaphor… I’m just trying to point… anyways

when I experience my self as the bridge

between me and other

I am experiencing love

yoga means to yoke

to being together

to unite

when you fall in love with another human

it is called a lower form of enlightenment

because the sense of separation disappears

and you are the relationship, the love, itself.

that is probably why humans crave a partner so badly

more than anything else… we want love... connection

but we are so limited by experiencing a reality almost exclusive to seeing through the mind.

expand this love, our consciousness, to all things

love is not something exclusive for just a significant other

we can experience our relationship to everything as love.

expanding our awareness fully to the dark side of the moon.

the other side of the coin.

this is why the swamis chant ram ram

why bob marley sang about one love

why the guru teaches his students about truth by sitting in silence

…

love is not a word

it is not the dictionary definition

love does not equal desire

but there is a great desire to love.

to connect

to unify

love is home. rest. safety. acceptance. warmth.

when I say “love” I point to the feeling… the experience.

…

I’m not completely sure if that made sense.

might not even make sense when I read back over this. but I feel like I got out what I wanted to.

the main point being…

that I experience everything at its core as love

because love is the feeling of direct experience and truth.

feel and see through the eyes of the heart to experience your soul

experience the true nature of your self

and anything or anyone you see

through these eyes

notice how duality dissolves

let the source of your awareness be from the heart… from love.

…

12/18/19

ram ram

- kat