there are a few material things i’ve always wanted, but i’ve never bought - because when i do own them, i want them to be authentic.
mala beads, a singing bowl, a meditation cushion, tibetan prayer flags… perhaps there are others.
i thought, with mala beads for example, if i did find them in a market or shop, i’d want to look into the shopkeeper’s eyes and know that these beads were crafted and cared for with love. that they embodied the sacredness that they symbolize.
even if the man said all the right things and sold me the beads with smiling eyes… could i really know those beads were made with love? how would i be able to tell? maybe i couldn't. maybe it’d be a gamble. it’d just have to trust and hope the shop was true to it’s word.
it’s an interesting phenomenon. how we want things to be authentic. the things, people, and experiences we have, we want them to be pure. to be true to their nature.
if the prayer flags were manufactured by a machine in a factory, and not hand sewn by a grandmother in tibet, it seems to be a contradiction of sorts, doesn’t it? even if the handmade and machine-made flags look almost identical… and the quality is the same, and the price is even the same. we will prefer the handmade flags. we would hold the authentic flags as more valuable. the object, which is symbolized to hold such reverence and spiritual significance, loses it’s essence when the love and devotion and passion is removed from the craftsmanship. from the artistry. the creative expression. the devotion to what the object means. that it is important and should be revered.
it is the same thing with how people savor live music, food cooked from scratch, and face to face honest conversations.
that is why we love mama’s chocolate chip cookies so much more than chips ahoy, and not just because chips ahoy are disgusting, but because our mother’s cookies were made with love. she made them to feed you. to serve you. they were a gift to you to make you smile. so that you could taste something sweet. they aren’t the mass-produced dry blobs that you can buy anytime at any store. they’re special. even if your mom’s a horrible cook, and you can’t even stomach her baking, you still appreciate her cookies over those bought in a store.
we want real.
i want real.
and maybe the mala was handmade. and it is beautiful. but what i don’t see is that the man who made it was distracted, full of anger and resentment while stringing the beads. and i perhaps can see no difference between those and a mala crafted by a swami who blessed each wooden sphere as he gently, with love, let it fall down the center thread.
this is a true way that we view things. perhaps to some it sounds silly and insignificant. but it’s true.
when i was thinking of this scenario, of wanting these objects, but only wanting them if i could have ones that are authentic, it felt like a metaphor of how we long for truth and authenticity in all things.
and although we cannot know who made the singing bowl or who sewed the cushion and what their state was, we can, with compassion, devotion, and patience, learn to be the someone who pours loving presence into all they do. even when no one is watching.
we can learn to be the loving awareness of the swami who blesses the beads. even when no one is there to witness. we pass that loving energy through all things. for even when there are no other’s eyes to see. our eyes know. life knows.
in all things be present. treating all things as divine. serving all. loving all.
through this practice and awareness, not only is our interaction with life more intimate, direct, and authentic. but that love that we express, that comes from the core essence nature of our true being, is then reflected back unto us by all we experience.
i will practice each breath as a beautiful exchange. each moment i receive the most precious gift of the inhale. she gives this to me expecting nothing in return. i savor this breath. in gratitude.
and with complete joy and in absence of any expectation, giving simply to give, out of pure love, i exhale, and pour forth, with a overflowing heart and eyes full of devotion, my gift unto her.
authentic in each moment.
in each exchange.
in all i do
in all i am.
true.
that is the greatest gift i could ever give or receive.
from love, to love.
...
wednesday may 13 2020
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