monday may 11 2020
quarantine day 00
training day 00
i am no longer counting.
it is now.
Well I woke up in the Lion's Mane
Kissing silhouettes of mountains dancing in the moonlight
Am I awake or is this a dream?
Or am I awaking into a state of wakefulness
Buried deep in my deepest dreaming sleep?
You can only guess what happened next
I swallowed an apple seed and gave birth to angel's wings
Which lifted me to the top of this orange grove
Where I saw a man trying to count
All the oranges
All the trees
And all the leaves
Turns out this man was me
Losing count and starting over
Losing count and starting over
Chasing my own tale until I got dizzy
And fell asleep in the clouds
-Trevor Hall
...
losing count and starting over
chasing my own tale
that’s me.
trying to count.
meaningless.
and failing
because i can't learn that im not meant to count
it’s a futile effort
a waste
the mind could not possibly comprehend the infinite nature of reality
tuesday may 12 2020
why do i keep feeling stuck?
it’s like i want to stop myself from doing what unites me
so ill engage in activities that are distracting and numbing
no…
i want to listen to beautiful music
write
make art
i want to put myself out there… share my work
i want to dance
and decorate my sanctuary
i want to slip into the flow
it’s so sinister… how this self sabotage sneaks in
i won’t feed it
i won’t give it more power
it’s not a problem.
nothing is a problem.
...
tuesday may 12 2020
close your eyes
close your eyes
to all you have done
close your eyes
close your eyes
it’s only just begun
close your eyes
close your eyes
the dark’s before the dawn
close your eyes
close your eyes
until the rising sun..
im opening myself to the creative flow
and doing so by removing the things that dam the waters
i am so sensitive.
so for this time of solitude
im very conscious of what im consuming
and i want it all to ring and vibrate and exude
radiating consciousness and light
whether that be food
any substances
people
media
music
thought
ideas
emotions
all my inner world a reflection of the outer
and my outer of the inner
…
expression.
creative expression.
beautiful.
and gaining exponential clarity.
everything is oh so simple.
in returning home
a whole new world of gratitude has opened
life is reminding me of the sacred
a million deaths and rebirths
so sensitive
so humble
yet standing fulling in divinity
“love all. serve all.”
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