shiva is a name for the stillness.
he is the underlying silence.
that which does not change.
the yin.
the love which is unconditional.
shiva is your soul.
the void.
he is the “i am”
that which is eternal.
he is the nothingness
shakti is a name for the dance.
she is all of the objects.
that which is constantly changing.
the yang.
the love which is conditional.
shakti is your human manifestation.
your body and mind.
your personality.
your thoughts.
your emotions.
your life circumstances.
your relationships.
your ethics and morals.
your purpose.
she is the “i am that”
that which is fleeting.
she is the everything.
and so
a clear mind is just another object
happiness it just another object.
feeling good is just another object.
depression another object.
anxiety.
physical safety.
health.
food, shelter, money
friends
emotional love
peace
laziness
intelligence
my body
my skills
anger
neuroses
irritability
headaches
tension
problems
all objects
all shakti.
to refine
to hone
to tranform
and those things are not apart from me.
they are shakti.
the objects of awareness.
which are just as much “me”
as the one who sees.
in the shakti…
there is lack
there are problems to solve
thats fully embracing our humanness
evvverrrything swirls around me
and i am in the center.
i am the eye
and i am the storm
i am confident in myself.
i am safe.
in that part of me that is always full
that cannot possibly be lacking
that is the shiva part.
and so
im not scared of any person or any circumstance or state that might leave me
because love never leaves
people come and go
experiences come and go
the only constant is change
but love…. is the only thing that never changes.
the soul.
god.
shiva.
the i am.
that which as always has been and always will be.
i am dependent on nothing for fulfillment.
i am.
and that is more than enough.
at the core…
i don’t have the answers.
i am not my mind or intellect.
i am not the spiritual person on a spiritual path.
i am not my personality or emotions.
i am only love.
i am loving awareness.
i will never stop moving.
not because i want the result
but because everything i do is in service, devotion, and is an offering to the divine.
every action out of love and service.
how can i love more? how can i serve more?
not for a reward… but to simply express the eternal love of the divine.
i am nothing.
i do nothing.
it’s all god.
it’s all shakti.
and it’s all shiva.
i am that.
i am shakti.
and beneath it all…
i am shiva.
i am that too.
and with the confidence
with this safety…
i can be absolutely honest in how i move through life.
in how i communicate with people
in how i communicate with myself.
i am absolutely honest.
absolutely authentic.
nothing is hiding.
i am truth.
sat nam.
and that is how im not attached to any of the shakti.
being unattached doesn’t mean that i say that things are “apart from me” or “not me”
it means that im fulllllyyy them
but not identified with them.
completely accepting and integrated and embodied
being unattached just means that im not clinging onto them for fulfillment
being unattached just means that im not reaching outside of myself
not trying to be something other than my current situation
not trying to reject my humanness
or be anything other than human
not trying to say “oh well what i actually am or ‘should be’ is different. is better.”
“what i actually am is more powerful. more clear. more effective”
no… that’s just more shakti.
and we can not possibility know until we leave this human body.
because most of us don’t have the experience of being something not human.
theres no context for anything apart from our current human experience.
so it is insane to reach for anything apart from what is apparent in the here and now.
we maintain the openness to the possibility that there could be something else…
but in the here and now.. it’s insane to search for anything other than here
no enlightenment.
no superpowers.
no self-actualization.
no eternal state of feeling good.
just here and now.
and boom. youre safe. youre full. youre home.
nothing do do here.
youre already it.
you’re already the truth you’ve been so desperately searching for.
and so from that place of safety.
with that certainty and sureness and confidence.
embrace the shakti fully and deal with all those problems.
chase your desires.
work towards your dreams.
if you find the shiva,
you may be caught in the trap that shiva is all there is.
and so you think “ah i see. there is nothing to do”
but idle hands lead to suffering once again.
so don’t try to escape the shakti.
don’t try to separate life into what’s “real” and what’s “not real"
be fully and honestly and authentically in your humanness.
doing your dharma.
and all the while with that little smile in your heart that knows its all just shakti.
and so you don’t identify…
but you pour yourself fully into it.
you are all of it
you try your damn hardest.
because to not do so is to try to escape yourself.
to tell life that it’s something else.
back into the insanity
back into trying to get away. to get separate.
and separation is what got you into this whole mess in the first place.
here and now
all there is.
truth is here.
and i am absolutely undoubtably free.
...
7/30/20
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