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anjali अञ्जलि: a life of prayer

Why is there no word for prayer in the yogic tradition? I believe it's because every teaching of yoga is a teaching of how to pray. Yoga means union -- Yoga is prayer. Every yogic practice offers a different method of prayer. Every tool yoga offers is a tool to get you more into the experience of total union -- total connection -- total love -- total service -- total alignment -- total purpose -- total remembrance.

Recently, I've been in deep awe of the power of prayer -- it's taken on a profoundly new meaning and experience for me. The main message I felt called to share this week is a reminder: we are always in communication with life... and we can choose to deliberately explore and cultivate our relationship to ourselves, our God, and our world through our prayers. You can have real conversations with the great mystery... and you can get answers... if you know how to listen. As I have taken prayer more seriously... becoming more earnest and honest with how I speak in prayer and deepening my ability to listen... my relationship to life has truly transformed.


This past week, I was on an integration call with an amazing participant from our past retreat, and we got on the topic of prayer. She brought up this quote, which I could've sworn I'd heard before, but now I can't find it anywhere. It's something like... "I used to pray, but I don't anymore. Because now, my whole life is my prayer."


I no longer pray – my entire life has become a prayer.


There isn't a really word for prayer in the Sanskrit language. In all my years of studying yoga, I realized I hadn't ever come across "prayer", which seemed odd. So, I did some research, but the closest thing I could find is "prarthana", which more so means supplication. Supplication (the act of begging or asking for something earnestly and humbly) is definitely an aspect of prayer, but it's not the whole thing.


Anjali means divine offering. I chose this Sanskrit word for this week's theme because it is the mudra of prayer. The hands symbolize an offering of the heart. Surrendering and opening our hearts to merge with something beyond our perceived limitations. There is reverence in offering our hearts... to remember that which sees from within me is that which sees from within you.


When we talked about bhakti, the path of devotion last week... we talked about a path of offering EVERYTHING that stands in the way of you and your beloved. You sacrifice it -- in the name of love. Whatever it is, you place it on the alter. Your prayers are a divine offering. That's how you pray. Don't you talk to your lover? Don't you want to get to know them more and more and MORE? This is how your spiritual practice stays true and alive and personal. Prayer is not a dry ritual for repentance and relief from suffering... it is a living conversation. Begin to pray as if someone is listening. Because life is listening! God is listening! Spirit is calling! Pick up the phone.


There is communication that is subtle and silent. How do you think plants communicate? How do you think life is somehow magically happening? How are the planets all in perfect positioning? This more subtle layers of communication in yoga are called the levels of The Vak. There is SO much communication happening besides just plain old WORDS. Ever listened to music before? lol. Isn't there sooo much more being communicated than just the words? I mean, sometimes the lyrics seem totally irrelevant, but the message that's coming through is incredibly potent.


This modern world is so busy and loud... but you knowwwww subtle things are happening. We're able to read facial expressions. We sense the "vibes"... we get intuitions, downloads, visions, dreams, we catch glimpses of the mysterious forces at play in the world. We spend a day soaked in nature and are just mind-blown by the grandness and beauty. Don't dumb yourself down. You knowwww more is going on that simply meets the eye.


In the cities, concrete squares, and neon lights. Printed signs and advertisements... news... numbers... stocks... cell phones... television... so many words. Innodated by text messages, emails, social media notifications. So much information. Sometimes I'm so suffocated by it -- overwhelmed by all the noise and I ask, "what is actually true?" "what is actually important?"


Press pause on all the noise. You're allowed to. Find a quiet space and remember how to listen. Find a quiet space and remember that you can talk and hang out with the mystery. You can talk to God. She is as close as your breath. She's literally just hanging out in your lungs, breathing you. Literally just chilling in your heart waiting for you to recognize her so you guys can chat it up. She wants to talk to you! She wants to hear you ask things of her. She wants to serve you! She is the force of evolution. Make bold prayers. When you pray to God, you are praying to the very fabric of the universe. You are speaking to the animating principle of everything. You are in communication with the oneness who is omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent... what gets any more far-out and powerful than that?




You might roll your eyes at "prayer". Or "prayer" may cause a sick feeling in your stomach... maybe you have a tricky past with religion (I did). You can use a different word. Or you can redefine it. Make it NEW and REAL and TRUE and powerful to YOU. This is a deeply personal and private practice. You don't ever need to try to make anyone else understand it... it doesn't need to fit in anyone else's box... you don't even need to understand it yourself... the question is: Does it work? Is it making you feel more intimate, connected, and producing positive results in your life?


It seems to me that our current cultural climate has a tendency to really dumb things down. Like, we are not giving the freaking cosmos enough credit here! What I mean is, because we value the mind and the intellect SO much... we usually instantly reject any concept that either 1) doesn't fit into the world view we've been conditioned to see through or 2) reject anything that we don't understand ... i.e., the big existential questions... What is life? Who am I? What is this human existence? What are the laws of the universe? How did this all happen? What is the source of it all?


Because of this cultural mental tendency... I believe we're missing out on a lot :/ The spirit... the juice... has been stripped from life. And it's not gone... it's just been forgotten. A more true narrative has been overwritten and obscured by the flood of fractured stories of: whatever is going to make your identity feel worthy or successful by material or mental means. We're all running around trying to physically and emotionally and mentally and socially survive. This surviving all gets feeling very dry to me. Of course in the struggle, but even in periods of lots of fun and abundance... it can feel very dry.


Because without the juice, without the spirit, without the hidden little smile of God behind every experience of the senses that passes before me... I can get so caught up in my identifications and what's happening, and I forget the changeless source of it all. And it's that remembrance of source that truly nourishes me. Remembering that which does not change. Remembering that I am not separate from life. Remembering that even though I exist in a world of apparently different forms... it's all ONE world. All ONE creation. The entire universe is one living breathing being. Everything is communicating and working together to grow, learn, expand, evolve and I AM a part of that. YOU ARE a part of that. You are that. How could anything truly be separate or disconnected? Nothing can live in isolation. You are not moving through life. Life is moving through you. I pray to REMEMBER that life is moving through me.


Prayer cultivates remembrance.


Prayer reminds you of who you are CHANGELESS amidst a world of constant change. Prayer is your anchor. Your worship. Your guidance. Your way back home. Prayer keeps you grounded, humble, on purpose. Prayer keeps you accountable and in connection to something greater. Prayer is an earnest asking for the removal of the things that keep you feeling separate. And an earnest asking to receive clearer eyes, a clearer mind, and a clearer heart that is able to recognize and fully receive the divinity and love all around you.


Japa is a traditional yogic practice of mantra repetition -- chanting the divine name, often with a mala. Japa is prayer. When I sit down at my alter, with the passing of every bead, with the passing of each mantra, I sink deeper and deeper into stillness. I identify less and less with my roles, to-dos, and stories, and I identify more and more with the changeless source, which is prior to and simultaneously permeates all things. And in this stillness, I become, often uncomfortably aware of all the "stuff" that's keeping me separate. I become strikingly aware of the dirty windshield I've been driving through life with. And often I'm not even aware of how dirty my windshield is because the world is so damn loud or my thoughts are so scrambled... but there's no hiding at the alter. She won't allow it. Because she wants to be with you.


One of my teachers calls the alter the phone booth... imagine you go to talk to God (who knows everything and also is you) on the phone & you're just like lying to her face or pretending you're not on the phone. Nothing to be ashamed about -- it's just funny. I catch myself doing that sometimes and it just becomes comical because how could I hide? There's nowhere she can't see me. And the ENTIRE REASON I'm sitting here at the alter, passing the beads, doing the mantra, is to BE SEEN. TO BE REMEMBERED. So, I can keep pretending like I'm just this little separate soul doing my dry spiritual practice... or I can remember we're after the juice here! And what I am seeking is seeking me! So even if I'm having the worst day of my fucking life... I can still sit down, pass the beads, and remember... "and this too" as Ram Dass says. This too, is part of my life. If love is both a soothing balm and a fierce burn from the stove... This too is love. This is what's required right now for me to evolve. And I trust that. I honor that. Even if it hurts like hell. I remember you.


And the more I remember, the more I connect to and cultivate my relationship with this life, this human experience, this greatest love story of them all... I get more clear. And when I'm more clear I become more sensitive to whatever's got to go in order for me to live in greater integrity -- greater love, greater service.


So with each passing of the mantra, I'm also silently saying "Here. take it. take it. please take it all. I don't even have to name it... just take it, whatever it is, it's yours." With each passing bead of the mala, another attachment is thrown into the fire. Whatever is causing pain... "it's yours, take it" Whatever is causing joy... "here, it's yours, you can have it." Even whatever seems neutral... "have this too."


I think about the sacrificial alters from the past, where livestock and harvests were set aflame. It was a symbol (that may have lost it's juice) meant to be a physical representation of burning up whatever you're attached to. And duh food was extremely important! It kept them alive! And it was often their business and livelihood. It was their sustenance, and when they watched it turn to smoke and rise to the heavens, done with a pure heart was offered in joy because it was a reminder that nothing material can last, but our spirits are immortal. It was a reminder that true sustenance, what is truly precious, is living in love... being close to the Divine.


And it's also a beautiful demonstration of faith "I give you all of me because I trust that I will always be provided for." I'm going to place all my problems, whatever I'm suffering over, on the alter. My mind will stop obsessing over solutions -- I'm giving that up, I surrender my attachment... I'll just rest in you.


If I'm so transfixed on my problems, or if I'm so obsessed with even the goodness in my life, it's not worth it... I'm still one thought away from the presence I seek. So I pray earnestly for my struggles to be lifted. I pray earnestly for more goodness. Because I believe that those are the circumstances that will allow me to be of best love and service. But I also understand that I don't understand everything! And if I'm meant to suffer this more right now because this is the current ingredient necessary for my path. I accept. But just as our homie J.C. said in the gardens of Gethsemane the night before he was crucified. "If there's any other way God, please don't make me go through this. If there's any other way, don't make me suffer like this... but if this is the only way. I'll do it." See, even Jesus, a fully realized being, still asked. I'm beginning to learn more and more that often we're just stuck in our own mind suffering loops and, like I mentioned before, God's just sitting around waiting for us to ask for help.


We opened this exploration of prayer talking about "prarthana" -- supplication... we pray to ask for help. But we also pray to give thanks. We also pray just to recognize and revel in the awe of the great mystery. Prayer is more than your structured "spiritual practice" at the alter or in church. Prayer is being in constant communication with divinity... which is not separate from anything right in front of you at all times.


Prayer is communion. Communing with Spirit. Remembering that everything you want is actually already here. We pray to recognize it.


I no longer pray – my entire life has become a prayer. The point of meditating, or studying sacred texts, or specific prayer time is not to get better at doing your spiritual practice (sadhana)... the point of practicing yoga is not to get better at practicing yoga... the point of practicing yoga is to PRACTICE freeing your mind in a controlled environment so you can get better at LIVING life... you can be better at having a free mind in your day to day. "Take it, take it all, it's all an offering to you." That is how we live a life of prayer. Attuning and refining and deepening our awareness and sensitivity, so that every action, every thought, every breath is a prayer. Everything becomes an offering, everything becomes a means to get free, everything becomes a step closer into remembrance. Your life becomes an expression of the love and selfless service you are remembering. (and you are another person you are meant to honor and serve.) Become an expression of divine love. Let life move through you.


I no longer pray – my entire life has become a prayer. There is no need to pray, if everything is a prayer. Just as there's no need to meditate, if your life is a meditation. Is presence what you do or who you are?


When you bow in prayer, you remind the head that it serves the heart.


You surrender and sacrifice the intellect to the pure, whole, intelligence of the heart. A space within our own bodies that mirrors the great heart of the cosmos... the power that keeps everything alive and in constant motion, in constant evolution.


You are in constant communication with this life. Talk to it. Listen. What whispers, what profound wisdom can be heard, what miracles will unfold, if you dare to pray?


go forth in love ॐ


Kat



p.s. Everything I write is a transmission of my own experience. I am just a finger pointing at the moon. Go to the moon yourself. Experience for yourself what is true.


p.p.s. Please don't hesitate to email me or comment below with any of your own insights or questions! I'd love to hear from you :)


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